Fun Blog

The Perfect Husband !!!

2007-05-31T02:34:00.000-07:00

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on
a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and
began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking Rs.11,50,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They
will probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him
in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks:
-

-
"Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"

Fun with pictures !!

2006-09-25T04:11:00.000-07:00

Women ! Handle this thruth

2006-07-20T02:39:00.000-07:00

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the
store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

this is for all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can
handle the truth!

Classical Definitions -Part 2

2006-03-17T00:14:00.000-08:00

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Classic Definitions - Part-I

2006-03-16T00:25:00.000-08:00

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

3..2...1....It's time for Fun !

2006-03-02T19:25:00.000-08:00

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram,Gandhiji Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your
Daughter.

Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Wo RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne
kaha Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi
thi.

A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite
Pastime...? The Priest pats the kids head replys : NUN My Child
NUN....!!

Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone
Book said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now
it is 6610"

Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta: Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!! Chinti Boli Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari umra
kabra khodnemai bitegi..!!

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale,
Santa : agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile the...!!!

Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Loveletter to her,
" I LOVE U SISTER."

Mysterious deaths & Our great Santa !

2005-11-25T03:29:00.000-08:00

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care wardwhere Patients always died in the same bedand on all Sunday morning at 11a.m,regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to dowith the supernatural.No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down tothe ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors andnurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselveswhat the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding woodencrosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just when the! clock struck 11...and
then.....
then.....
then........
then........
....... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unpluggedthe life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!!!!!

Do you Know ???

2005-11-22T04:38:00.000-08:00

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

Pappu Pass Ho Gaya !!

2005-10-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of
"COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

Shayar turned Software engineer

2005-09-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

mere... Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain Aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...

Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo...

Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS...

Kya chaal hai tumhaari, Jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, Aao karein chat

Humse Kya Khata Hui Ki message Aanna Band Hai.......
Aap hi humse naraz hain ya Web Server band hai.......

Badli hai duniya , kuchch mein bhi badal gaya hoon
Pahle bekaar tha ab S/W Programmer ban gaya hoon

teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
teri yaad me sanam raat bhar humne to wine piya
kabhi offline to kabhi online piya

Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo project testing kar rahe hote hai

Check your Hindi !!!

2005-09-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita

CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita

TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaatak de takaatak

LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad

LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak

TIE : Kanth Langoti

MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti

TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa

TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti

TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini

ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Agni Rath Aava Gaman Soochak Pattika

RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra

RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda

BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak

MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev

CIGARETTE : Shweta patra mandit dhumra shalakha

from a Software Engineer ....

2005-08-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!

Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...

Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...

Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...

Roz subha hum karte hain
p! yar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...

Nazar mein to kai hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...

Software Engineer Ki Shayari

2005-08-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down...

Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail...

Dil se ek ishq ki
application create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon...

Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya...

Customer Care calls by Indian heroes -Pt.-3

2005-08-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Gabbar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ….Jo dargaya wo maraga… batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho … sirf… $10.00…dhikkaar hai

Prem Chopra: Prem…Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra…
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle

Rajkumar : Jaani ….. Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani… ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes… otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena… manager humko darasake manager mein itna dum nahi… humse hai manager… manager se hum nahi...

Customer Care Calls by Indian Heroes- Part 2

2005-07-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye….
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ….tumko kya problem hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha…

Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera… pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo main tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.

Shakti: AAAuuuuuu…mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa…rep hooon..

Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi … thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga… ye dyevi nai ji … ye to dyeva hai…

Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai….. May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling… tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager dedenge to hamein manage kaun karega….

Kiss or Salary !

2005-07-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

Husband: Sweety, instead of my salary I will give you 5000 kisses. OK!

Wife: Fine dear. Then I will give 250 kisses to milkman, 500 to servant, and 200 to dhobi...

Customer care calls taken by Film stars !

2005-07-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Amithabh: Thank you for calling customer care… rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care rep hain…
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amithabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha… uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga..

Dharmendra: Thank you for callllllliiiiingggg…..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa…
Customer: I am unable use your product… its waste and worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna

Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh… seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna… haaaaaaaaa!!!

Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa

Father of the Nation !

2005-07-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three!Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.
Jawaharlal is next. He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later these three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!"

Sadarji becomes father !

2005-07-24T04:59:00.000-07:00

One fine day, Sadarji's wife , Sardarni gave birth to a baby girl.
Sardarji got disappointed and shouted back at sardarni.....
...."Maine tujhse ladka manga tha , aur tune ladki paida kar di"

Sardarni got angry and replied ...."Agar Tumhare bharose rehti to yeh bhi paida nahin hoti" !!!

One sardarji was appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
Sadar ji replies "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Niagra falls and Ladies !!

2005-07-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

Sardaarji had twins Named Tin & Martin
Again had twins named Peter & Repeater
Again had twins named Max & Climax
Again had Twins got fedup named Tired & Retired

Tourists at Niagra falls.
Guide: "I welcome you all to the Niagra Falls. These are the world's largest WaterFalls and the sound intesity of the WaterFall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing can't be heard!
Now .... may I request the LADIES to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??..." :-)

Laloo, Kajol, Saddam & Air hostess !!

2005-07-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

How is life ?
Saddam meets Kajol asks her how is life?
Kajol says Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gum. How about u?
Saddam says Kabhi Bush Kabhi Bomb,
Laloo says: Kabhi jail Kabhi Bail

Laloo vs. Air hostess
Air Hostess asks laloo:Sir are u vegetarian/non-vegetarian
Laloo says I am sagittarian
Air hostess asks:Sir aap Shakahari hai/Masahari hai
Laloo says I am a Bihari

Teacher and Students

2005-07-21T01:47:00.000-07:00

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

Ram Singh at STD Booth !

2005-07-21T01:43:00.000-07:00

Mr. Ram Singh went to a STD/ISD/PCO Shop and slapped the operator twice.
Guess Why !!!!!!!!!! Guess !!!!!!
Because there it waswritten "Number dial karne se pehele do lagaye"
(This joke was sent by Manoj Mendiratta)

Imagine yourself in a Sprite Ad

2005-07-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Your Colleague : Hey !! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!

You : Achha ! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague : Impression !!! Appraisal !!!
Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You : Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!!
Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega ! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !
Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon ????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Powered by ctrl C
Driven by ctrl V

Jara Muskara do !!!!

2005-07-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

Wah Wah!!
Dil Hai to pyaar hai, Wah,wah,Wah......
pyaar hai to ishq hai, Wah,wah,Wah......
ishq hai to mohabbat hai, Wah,wah,Wah......
Mohabat hai to dard hai, Wah,wah,Wah......
Dard hai to Zandu Balm Hai!

Sardar ji Jokes
Teacher asks Who is Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Sardaarji :They all r 4 best friends

Sardaarji tells his wife Tum meri Kalpana ho, Tum
meri Bhavana ho, Tum meri prerna ho
Wife says :Chalo, aaj se aap mere liye Dinesh,
Rakesh, Suresh ho

Sardarji:I want to stich curtain for my computer
Tailor : Why curtain for computer
Sardarji: I got Windows installed on my computer

Share jokes on the blog !

2005-07-14T01:26:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,
If you know some good joke and would like to share with the blog visitors, kindly send the same to funfunda@sify.com
Your joke will be published on this blog with your name.
Regards
Fun Blog team

Santa & Banta

2005-07-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

Football
santa and banta in a football stadium:
santa : paaji yeh log ball se kya kar rahe hain?
banta : goal kar rahe hain!!!
santa :"lekin paaji ball toh pehle se gol hain , aur kitni gol
karenge!!!!!!!!!"

Santa and his cheque Book
**Y did santa singh sign all the cheques in his cheque book...........
.................so that no one else could use them if he lost his
chequebook?!!@@?

How did santa singh attempt to transfer some files from one PC to
anotherPC.....

1)Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and
selected cut option
2)Disconnected the mouse from that PC
3)Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he
wanted to copy that file
4)And trying to paste it there....!!!!!!!!!

Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching he cowers in h! is seat.
His friend asks him,"Kyun Sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyun lag raha hai? Cinema hi to hai."
Sardarji replies, "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,pata hai ki cinema hai,
lekin woh to janwar hai, usko kya pata."

The fun blog welcomes you !

2005-07-11T03:51:00.000-07:00

IT'S FUN TIME FOLKS!
If you have any joke to share , please mail to funblog@sify.com and it will get published with your name (don't forget to put your name in the email !)

Have fun!

The Fun blog team