Friday, March 17, 2006

Classical Definitions -Part 2

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Classic Definitions - Part-I

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

3..2...1....It's time for Fun !

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram,Gandhiji Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your

Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Wo RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne
kaha Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi

A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite
Pastime...? The Priest pats the kids head replys : NUN My Child

Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone
Book said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now
it is 6610"

Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta: Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!! Chinti Boli Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari umra
kabra khodnemai bitegi..!!

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale,
Santa : agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile the...!!!

Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Loveletter to her,