The Perfect Husband !!!

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on
a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and
began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking Rs.11,50,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They
will probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him
in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks:
-

-
"Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"

Fun with pictures !!

Women ! Handle this thruth

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the
store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

this is for all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can
handle the truth!

Classical Definitions -Part 2

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Classic Definitions - Part-I

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Classic: A book which people praise, but does not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

3..2...1....It's time for Fun !

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram,Gandhiji Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your
Daughter.

Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Wo RAM ke Mandir me gaya, Ram ne
kaha Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usi ne dhundhi
thi.

A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite
Pastime...? The Priest pats the kids head replys : NUN My Child
NUN....!!

Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone
Book said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now
it is 6610"

Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta: Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.

Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!! Chinti Boli Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari umra
kabra khodnemai bitegi..!!

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale,
Santa : agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile the...!!!

Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Loveletter to her,
" I LOVE U SISTER."

Mysterious deaths & Our great Santa !

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care wardwhere Patients always died in the same bedand on all Sunday morning at 11a.m,regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to dowith the supernatural.No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down tothe ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors andnurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselveswhat the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding woodencrosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just when the! clock struck 11...and
then.....
then.....
then........
then........
....... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unpluggedthe life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!!!!!